Real Thoughts: Just Pointing Out Some Truths About Clutter and Decluttering

Roberta Ritter, Founder and Owner of SadieLane Home Organizing

I spend a lot of time in people's homes, working on decluttering and making better use of space to be able to make room for all of their things. My main objective is to help people make their home a peaceful space to live in, finding creative solutions for storing items, and creating systems for maintaining the peace we have created. My clients are working with me because they're tired of the chaos and lack of peace in their own homes.

Each session is unique. As we sort through their belongings, I'm asking the hard questions and asking people to be honest with themselves about the things they own. I don't demand minimalism, nor do I feel that minimalism is necessarily the "best" way to do things. But I do ask for a little soul searching and honesty about the "why" behind the things we own. I'm looking for the meaning and purpose for the things we choose to keep in our homes.

I notice a pattern with many of my clients. After decluttering, I usually take several bags of donations to a donation center for them. The donations are sometimes things that have been passed down from family members, acquired through friends, or hand-me-downs. But most often, it's Amazon purchases, late-night online shopping, or impulse buys with the tags still attached. I've estimated the average retail value in these bags is around $1,000 each, and it's not uncommon for a client to send 20-30 bags to be donated at a time.

Some of my clients return to me year after year for repeat sessions. Something heartbreaking that happens with these clients is that we repeat the same amount of discarding each time. This means that as we are removing discarded items from the home, or not long after, more is being brought in and refilling the space that we just cleared.

Do some quick math, and the results are alarming as we realize the amount of money spent on items that never had the tags taken off, never came out of the Amazon shipping bag, and need to be discarded. The discarding isn't the problem; the items were in overabundance and did not belong in the first place. The problem is the purchasing without awareness.

As we work together, I listen intently to their stories, the reasons behind their attachment to certain objects, and the emotional weight that some of these items carry. In addition to the tangible items, I also hear the unspoken narratives that often accompany them. There is almost always some kind of fear behind the overbuying and overconsumption. Fear of not being good enough, beautiful enough, thin enough, a good enough parent, fear of being caught off guard, and on and on endlessly. The list of fears is extensive and varied, reflecting the complexities of modern life. As a result, many of us accumulate more possessions, driven by the "just in case" mentality, where we hold onto items in the hope that they may be needed someday.

We all want to protect ourselves from the uncertainties of life, creating a barrier that we believe will safeguard us from feelings of inadequacy or failure. But where does it stop? We inadvertently construct our own prisons, becoming enslaved to the very things we thought would provide security and comfort. The clutter that surrounds us can become a source of stress rather than solace.

As I guide my clients through the process of decluttering, we not only address the physical items but also confront the emotional ties that bind them to these possessions and the emotional causes for the overaccumulation.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my clients and I love when they become repeat clients to maintain their homes, but what is most important to me is to see them make progress in their habits of clutter accumulation. It doesn't feel good to see them go through this decluttering on repeat.

Through this journey, it's most important to me that we all begin to understand that true security and contentment come not from the accumulation of items but from the clarity and freedom that arise when they let go of what no longer serves them.

"If there is to be any peace, it will come through Being, not Having" -Henry Miller

Through this journey, it's most important to me that we all begin to understand that true security and contentment come not from the accumulation of items but from the clarity and freedom that arise when they let go of what no longer serves them.

This is my mission and the mission of SadieLane Home Organizing. To create peace, true peace in our client's homes.